Cow Gifts

I took a course with instructor Greg Smalley marriage counseling who said he called his girlfriend a woman from the cow ten "when they were dating. He then went on to explain that some years ago in a small Village in Hawaii was the custom for men to propose to a woman with her future stepfather is a cow.

For an "average" girl they would offer a cow, and a woman particularly striking since they have three cows. In fact, nobody had ever offered more than three cows. Then a rumor spread that a young man named Johnny gave eight cows to a particular family. The bride was a woman named Seret which was seen by most as simple and ordinary.

The gift of eight cows became so famous that a journalist wanted to interview the families involved for a human interest story. He started asking people about Seret. He found that everyone was amazed at the gift of the husband because Seret is just the girl next door, on average.

When the reporter went to the house of Johnny, is a beautiful woman who answered the door, presenting himself as Seret. The journalist was struck by the graceful and attractive, she was, especially in light of statements people have made.

Sit down with Johnny, he asked about the eight cows, wondering if he had been exploited by the father of his fiancee. Johnny assured him that he willingly offered eight cows for his wife to be. He then further explained, "Imagine a number of our women are seated for tea and they begin to share the gifts received from their families for marriage. Sharing his family received three cows, and another received. How would you feel if someone has a cow for you? "

The reporter then asked: "So you gave the extra cows for her hand in marriage?" To which Johnny replied: "Not at all. I gave eight cows because I wanted a woman eight cows. I want her to know that I value so much, and you see how she is really beautiful. "

Robert Heinlein said: "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to yours." When you see the value of our partner and seek to let them know how much we treasure them, we are on the way to a passionate relationship.

Then you can take some time Valentine's to share with your partner how much you appreciate them. Gifts are not necessary. As Gary Chapman says there are a number of "love languages", to receive gifts in one.

The important thing to know is how to meet the needs of your partner in the way they need to meet them. Often we are simply trying to meet their needs in the way we want our own meeting. The secret to making love last is to understand what makes your lover feel valued, and seek to meet this need at the highest level.

In closing, let me share two powerful principles that I learned years ago that have withstood the test of time. The first is called the "rule of ten minutes." In other words, when you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife after work or school, the first ten minutes should be consumed with a positive interaction. Strictly prohibit any mention of your "day" or bills or anything else that distracts from providing value.

For example, many couples return home and immediately say, "You will not believe the day I had," or "You can not imagine what your son did today." Instead of this practice make the first ten minutes sacred, it will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Secondly, mercilessly delete the words "always" and "never" in your vocabulary to describe one another. Statements like: "You never listen to me" or "You always forget important dates" have a strict finality about them which can only lead to friction and a devaluation of the currency of your relationship.

So be sure to properly express the value, the practice of the rule of ten minutes, and remove "always".